Scared, excited and finally letting you in

I'm bringing a huge idea to life tomorrow, and I'm feeling hella scared and anxious about it. This might feel a little out of the blue for you to be reading, but for me it's something I've been very quietly working on for what feels like a lifetime. Just a couple of days ago I realised I was playing my cards close to my chest again, as I've loosely mentioned that I'm building a project in the background but haven't let on at all what it is or why I'm doing it, so I thought now would be a good time to start letting you in (just a day before the actual launch, LOL).

A year with 365

In October 2025 I enrolled on 365, a year-long group coaching programme with Calypso Barnum-Bobb as our coach. The whole year has been about self leadership, which for me has meant learning to back myself, make decisions from a grounded place rather than a panicked one, and step into the version of myself I know I'm capable of being. We meet regularly for hot seat coaching, where one person gets coached in front of the group and everyone else learns from it too, and we do breathwork together as well. The humans in that group have connected so deeply over the year that I genuinely consider every one of them a friend now, and I don't think I'd be launching anything tomorrow without them.

Every quarter comes with its own challenge, and each one has taught me something I didn't expect.

Commitment

Our first challenge, in the last quarter of 2025, was about commitment. I'd dabbled with the idea of studying Buddhism for years, so I went along to a Silent Day retreat at my local Buddhist centre. The most influential part of the whole day was simply being really present with my own thoughts, and although I've chosen not to practise Buddhism at this point in my life, it opened up something in me around spirituality, which is a part of myself that's been dismissed my entire life. Giving it space to just be has been a big deal for me.

Commitment has been the most challenging theme to hold onto all year, but it's helped me understand which spiritual practices actually serve me now, which are ecstatic dance, daily meditation, breathwork and being out in nature. Alongside those I write (almost daily) morning pages, and I move my body in some way every day, whether that's exercise, a walk or a good stretch.

Resilience

In the first quarter of 2026 the challenge was resilience, and I chose to train for a 10K run. It was hard, I made it through with a time of 01:09:56, and I very quickly hung up my running trainers, LOL. Somewhere in the middle of all that training I realised that running just isn't my thing, but I'm so glad I gave it a go, and I learned I'm a lot tougher than I give myself credit for. Give me a spin bike any day for my cardio though, as I really missed it while I was training.

Audacity and Creation

For the second quarter, the plan was for the whole group to do a skydive together. Sadly, because of an ongoing issue with my back and finally getting results from an MRI, I wasn't able to go ahead, so the challenge of audacity lingered over me for a while, unfinished. Then, as the third quarter crept in with its theme of Creation, I realised I didn't need to jump out of a plane to be audacious. I decided to combine the two and bring this whole project to life, because what I'm about to launch is audacious AF.

Why now?

I've been self-employed for ten years now, and in all that time I've never had investment or a loan, and I've never had a big injection of cash to make things happen. Everything I've built, I've built by bootstrapping it bit by bit, and I'm proud of that, but it also means I've learned to ride some pretty big waves on my own, and those waves have definitely tested my resilience.

Covid was not for the faint hearted as a business owner, and I had to pivot and adapt more times than I can count just to keep going. Somewhere along the way that became a bit of a superpower, because I don't seem to fear failure in the way I used to, and I've learned that if one door closes I'll usually find a way round it.

Closing my studio was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, and it took me almost a year to get to it. At the time I was totally burnt out, and that burnout was dressed up as failure, which made it so much harder to see clearly. What I actually needed was to move my work home, slow down and get even better at my craft, and looking back I definitely have. It wasn't the end of something, it was the space I needed to work out what came next.

I'll be the first to admit I can sometimes do things without planning and be a little hasty, but this project has been far from that, and it isn't going to be that. It's been months of quiet planning, writing and dreaming, and since bringing everything home I've finally worked out what I actually want my work to look like. What I've realised is that the thing I've been dreaming about for years isn't going to happen if I keep waiting until I can do it all by myself. This year has taught me that asking for help out loud is its own kind of audacity, and that's exactly what I'm about to do.

Tomorrow, I'm sharing it with you. It's the biggest, boldest thing I've done in ten years of being self-employed, and it's going to need a lot of you to make it happen, so keep an eye on my Instagram and your inbox, because I can't wait to show you what's coming.